Friday, December 24, 2004
Merry Giftmas and all that JAZZ....
I will be at the store *forever* today. I am quickly regretting the hours I made for today, and hope that there will be no drama at the store. I already had 2 really agressive homeless on my case yesterday asking me to give them money because it's christmas. I told them I don't even have gifts for my family, how could I gift them? They don't care, they think I am a "have" and not a "have not". I have nothing left in the end, I just have alot more bills than they do! I owe I owe, so off to work I go. I WORK, alot. I'm tired, ALL THE TIME. It just seems as though if I can work sometimes 80 hours a week- then they can surely work day labor of odd jobs or *something*. And the drug dealer that always asks me for change for the meter, or a ciggie, I really am so sick of him. I have an idea how much money that little fucker makes, and it's all tax free, and he has very little overhead. I am not giving him jack shit. Matter of fact- I'm not helping any of these people anymore. I came into this situation a much more naive person than I am today. You give a guy a buck because you believe this line he throws you- and an hour later you see him in the alley smoking CRACK. A little girl is asking for money for food, you bring her a grilled cheese sandwich, and she is too high to eat it and wasn't hungry at all. You give a guy who asks, a ciggie and later he is throwing lit matches at Marji- because she has no cigarettes to give him. You look the other way when there is a homeless guy sleeping in the alcove, "he's only there when I'm not here" or "Well, maybe it's a nicer alcove than the other ones on the street" And then he decides to PEE all over the front door and -I shit you not- in the mail slot of the store.
This Christmas- fuck em, Fuck the lot of em.Primavera foundation has beds and programs for those who *really* want off the street. But they do drug testing, so alot of people don't go. They have to want a new life, and a new way of doing things and a clean slate. Drug rehab is available, but some will never suceed in this endeavor. Some of the people on the street are there due to circumstances beyond their control- and I am sorry for those people. Most of our downtown homeless, seem to be homeless by choice. Freedom. I heard one call it Freedom. I'll take my nice warm prison or responsiblity and bills, work and ass-kissing, humiliation and embarassment, I don't need *that* kind of freedom, thankyou.
-Lizzie Stardust
I will be at the store *forever* today. I am quickly regretting the hours I made for today, and hope that there will be no drama at the store. I already had 2 really agressive homeless on my case yesterday asking me to give them money because it's christmas. I told them I don't even have gifts for my family, how could I gift them? They don't care, they think I am a "have" and not a "have not". I have nothing left in the end, I just have alot more bills than they do! I owe I owe, so off to work I go. I WORK, alot. I'm tired, ALL THE TIME. It just seems as though if I can work sometimes 80 hours a week- then they can surely work day labor of odd jobs or *something*. And the drug dealer that always asks me for change for the meter, or a ciggie, I really am so sick of him. I have an idea how much money that little fucker makes, and it's all tax free, and he has very little overhead. I am not giving him jack shit. Matter of fact- I'm not helping any of these people anymore. I came into this situation a much more naive person than I am today. You give a guy a buck because you believe this line he throws you- and an hour later you see him in the alley smoking CRACK. A little girl is asking for money for food, you bring her a grilled cheese sandwich, and she is too high to eat it and wasn't hungry at all. You give a guy who asks, a ciggie and later he is throwing lit matches at Marji- because she has no cigarettes to give him. You look the other way when there is a homeless guy sleeping in the alcove, "he's only there when I'm not here" or "Well, maybe it's a nicer alcove than the other ones on the street" And then he decides to PEE all over the front door and -I shit you not- in the mail slot of the store.
This Christmas- fuck em, Fuck the lot of em.Primavera foundation has beds and programs for those who *really* want off the street. But they do drug testing, so alot of people don't go. They have to want a new life, and a new way of doing things and a clean slate. Drug rehab is available, but some will never suceed in this endeavor. Some of the people on the street are there due to circumstances beyond their control- and I am sorry for those people. Most of our downtown homeless, seem to be homeless by choice. Freedom. I heard one call it Freedom. I'll take my nice warm prison or responsiblity and bills, work and ass-kissing, humiliation and embarassment, I don't need *that* kind of freedom, thankyou.
-Lizzie Stardust
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